Yesterday pretty much sucked. This post is going to be more about people, drama, and people’s inability to handle drama than much else. These people are all on my roller derby team, so it involves that as well. It did stress me out to the point of needing a beer, and giving in to pizza, which of course is diet related. I will also update you on my daughter’s medication trial.
Whenever you make up a team of all girls, there is going to be drama. There is no way around it. I thought that being a team of ADULT women would change that a bit. I guess not. I suppose it is exacerbated by the fact that our “women” range in age from 15 to 60. Oddly, our 15 year old is NOT involved in the team drama, nor is our 60 year-old. What kills me, is that 85% of this “team drama” isn’t really TEAM drama. It is personal drama (involving team members) that skaters drag into practice! There are 2 (as best as I can figure) legitimate gripes that can be directed at one particular member that is derby related. All the rest of the hurt feelings, anger, mistrust is not derby related at all, but does include that member. People are asking for us to dismiss a skater because of shit that IS NOT DERBY RELATED! A couple are threatening to leave because they don’t like this person, or they feel uncomfortable if she is at practice… GROW UP. Leave the shit at the door, come in, lace up your skates, and get on the track. We don’t talk about skaters’ personal relationships at practice! We don’t talk about who got really wasted (or maybe they didn’t) and what they did or did not do!
We talk about being better blockers, staying low in a pack, helping your jammer out, sticking with your blocking buddy, turning your shoulders. We don’t have time to deal with anything else.
As for the person in question…. Forget about EVERYTHING that has happened outside of a derby event (meetings and practices included). Ask yourself a couple questions… Can you dispute that they do a good job on their specific officer duties? Personally, as far as their officer duties go, I think she does a damn good job. Minutes are accurate, if they aren’t she changes them. Now that we have established that we want minutes from all meetings (officer included) distributed, she has.
Can you dispute that she knows the sport of derby well, and when she is on the track, on your team, is an asset? I can’t dispute that. She knows the sport better than I do. She is a better skater than I am. The last time I skated as jammer, I was approaching the pack and saw her make a very deliberate move to make a hole for me, and I KNEW she would do it again on my next approach around. In fact, I called out HER name when I got close enough and needed a hole. When I am blocking, if I feel a hand on each hip, I know it is her if she is jamming. I also know that she will allow me to make a move to help her out before getting impatient. I also know that if I block to the right, she is going to come in on my left to take advantage as quickly as possible.
When she runs drills at practice (though, I don’t prefer it), are the drills practical? Are they beneficial? I think we need to answer, “Yes”.
With all this being said, why can’t people ditch the shit at the door, get on the track, and skate with her knowing she isn’t going to purposefully fuck shit up? Why can’t they skate with the teammate, recognize her assets, and let it be at that? Pick the drama back up on your way out if you want. Handle that at home. And for Christ’s sake….if you have issues with her..STOP HANGING OUT WITH HER, STOP TEXTING WITH HER, STOP FACEBOOKING WITH HER!
I understand that some of the younger members might struggle with this. They have less life experience to teach them how to grow a thicker skin, separate the “church and state”, and move on. I’m shocked at the number of our 20 and 30 something skaters that can’t do this. Is it lack of experience in team sports? I don’t know.
What I do know is that I cannot support voting someone off the team right now. If we allow that, without ever discussing with that person what the issues are, and while people are letting outside shit spill over, then I could very well be voted out for making a snarky comment, or someone else can go for using the word “Fuck” too much. That is bullshit.
What led to all the urgency was an upset text that coach got, from one of our best skaters, saying that she can’t practice with person “A” anymore and may quit if she doesn’t leave. Coach freaked out, sent out a mass text asking team members if they think someone that causes drama and is hurting morale should be voted out. She sent this to person A! Shit grew from there. Person A knew it was about her. Lying to her only caused more problems because then you have a coach and/or officers doing the exact same thing she is being accused of (being sneaky, lying, being secretive). Now, as best as I can figure, members are expecting that this person has been kicked off the team. Yes, she is a bit of a whack-a-doodle sometimes, but she deserves fair treatment (no matter how unfair she has been OUTSIDE of derby). We need to adopt the code-of-conduct, we need to have everyone sign it, then we need to hold EVERYONE to it. Not just her. We have a few other members (even those crying for dismissal) that are operating out of their boundaries right now.
All of this shit then played into my diet. I really wanted to go home from work, and have a beer. I hadn’t had a beer or a glass of wine in 15 days. It isn’t that I NEEDED it. I just like to know that I can if I want to. Of course, there was nothing thawed for dinner. So, I picked up a $5 pizza and some bread sticks. I had two slices of cheese and 2 bread sticks. Then I had to go to our “emergency officers meeting”. I had 2 beers. I also had a few sun chips. I figured it was worth the 4 day set-back. It wasn’t a set back. I lost a fricken pound. How do you explain that?
Lilly was started on Adderall XR on Wednesday. I guess 10 mg is the normal starting dose. Her doctor started her on 5mg. Wednesday-Friday were typical days. We will see how the weekend is.